When I was a child a birthday party was a delight , starting with the handwritten invitation passed out by the birthday boy or girl around the class , or as ancient as may be ,….mailed to your home !!

The day would arrive and your mum had you in the bath, scrubbed you until you were raw , brushed your hair and tied it up tight with a ribbon and your best party frock put on. Frilly socks and shiny shoes.

A present and card were acquired and beautifully wrapped ready for the happy recipient. Your mum dropped you off at the door of the hosts and waved you off saying she’d be back in 3 hours to pick you up.

The front room of their house was decorated with a table full of cake and sausage rolls , sandwiches and jammy dodgers on a crisply ironed tablecloth. Balloons were plentiful and the record player played music we could dance to , appropriate to our age. We knew there would be games like Pass the Parcel or Pin the Tail on the Donkey and best of all , jelly and ice cream!! As much as we could eat.

Our sadness came when the parents arrived to pick us up , exhausted , red faced from jumping around and slipping into a sugar coma from too much sweet indulgence. We had to stand and thank the hosts for having us before walking home and falling happily into bed.

Fast forward 40 years ( wow, I can actually say that now ) and to the modern day child’s parties here in California.

The invite is either a text , Evite or a casual “why don’t you come ?” often with no expectation of an RSVP. Side note : why do people write “RSVP please to …”, I imagine they have no idea that the SVP part means please in French ?

Anyways , the day appears on the google calendar and the kids are told to put on a clean t-shirt and decent looking shoes. A gift card is thrown into a card ,hastily scribbled in the car and a scroll through the texts to get the child’s name spelling correct.

When we arrive at the party it is generally hard to find a parking space within 1/2 a mile of the house as everyone has driven . When we finally do park ,we all walk en masse to the front door only to see a sign that reads that the party is in the yard.

The yard turns out to be a veritable oasis of palm trees , swimming pool and inflatable jumpers. There’s a bbq and platters of salad , chips and dips. Ice chests full of drinks and usually a wink from the hostess that “there’s wine in the fridge for the mommies”. The music is blasting and there are kids running and screaming everywhere. Rented tables and chairs with plastic tablecloths are neatly placed and a few groups of large families are huddled in their cliques.

The parents are expected to stay and make small talk with people they have never met before , who really have no interest in talking to you either, or just stand holding their kids shoes as they run up on the bouncy castle in their grass stained socks for the umpteenth time.

There are no organized games , perhaps a piñata that the older kids get all sweaty from trying too hard. The music is too loud and too mature for 6 year old ears. The adults are getting slowly inebriated and louder.

I count the minutes until I can escape these gatherings. I can talk the hind legs off a donkey but I’m always very uncomfortable at these types of gatherings. I want it to go back to the more innocent time when a children’s party was just that , not an adult party where they have a cake for their kid. Even when it’s a party at a bowling alley or at a park , the parents always stay too. This was such a foreign concept to me when we first moved here.

I am going to have a tea party for my daughter this year with big hats and china tea sets , we will play pass the parcel and musical statues AND I’m going to request that the parents drop their little girls off at my house! Wonder how that’ll play out ?

Oh well , party on.